The Men Who Stare at Goats

“More of this is true than you would believe.” is the opening statement for this film that sets a pretext for an astonishing tale. At least, that is what one would assume. Such isn’t the case, however. We all know George Clooney to be the kind of ambitious actor/director/producer who seeks out good stories and challenges greatness in his projects. He teams up again with Grant Heslov, who he had previously collaborated with on Good Night, and Good Luck. Although they have swapped productions roles here (Clooney produces while Heslov directs), you would think that they would have come up with the same kind of brilliance that they concocted in 2005. Perhaps the major difference with this film is that it was NOT co-written by the two. Regardless of this, the story just doesn’t execute.

Peter Straughan, whose work spans over numerous genres including radio sitcoms and stage plays, is the screenwriter. This movie is based directly upon Jon Ronson’s nonfiction novel, of the same name, which reveals the details behind a secret government unit called the First Earth Battalion (renamed the New Earth Army in the film). Ronson is probably best known for his documentary film work and distinctive self-deprecating reporting style, which incorporates aspects of Gonzo journalism. Unfortunately, Straughan does not execute the same treatment of expression in his script. But aside from the actual literary approach, the story doesn’t even grasp this so-called veritable world of military intelligence. I do realize that this is a comedy, however so much more could have been brought to the storyline, particularly some of the actual tactics used by the US Army. Instead, the story becomes cliché and doesn’t actually seem believable, or humorous for that matter.

Ewan McGregor plays the lead character of Bob Wilton, who is based on Ronson himself. Wilton is a recently divorced journalist who lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan (this is a bad omen to begin with). In an attempt to redeem himself to his wife and in his professional career, he ventures to Iraq at the height of the war in the Middle East in hopes to find some revolutionary story. This is idealistic and hopeless on his part. Wilton is vastly pathetic, insecurely emotional and needlessly irrational. How could anyone possibly respect such a bloke? McGregor manages to be likeable here, despite his deplorable character. But it is not the same kind of allure that he has had in such films as Moulin Rouge! and Trainspotting.

The irony that this film is about these so-called Jedi Warriors and that Ewan McGregor is the main character is humorous in itself. They make references to Star Wars throughout the entire movie. Since McGregor played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes 1 through 3 of the Star Wars saga, it adds an element of strangeness to his character here. Wilton is someone who is trying to coop with his wife leaving him for his one-armed boss and his own mediocrity in his professional life. His solution is to go to Iraq and write a groundbreaking story that would give him a career boost and personal redemption. Seems simple enough right? Not really. He inadvertently finds himself chasing a story about so-called psychic warriors, enter George Clooney.

In Kuwait City, Wilton inadvertently meets Lyn Cassady (Clooney) at a hotel while waiting for his chance to cross into Iraq. After an accidental interrogation, Wilton unveils that Cassady was once a member of the New Earth Army and is currently on a top-secret mission for the government. Cassady goes onto to explain his role and exactly how he came to be a part of this select group of psychic spies trained to use paranormal powers against the country's enemies known as the Jedi. It is around this point in the film where you start to roll your eyes. It’s not even that the scenario is so inconceivable, but that the reproach is utterly ridiculous. Clooney’s character is supposed to be this psychic guru, the most talented of all the Jedi. But all he really accomplishes throughout the story is extreme exasperation.

If there is anything or anyone to commend in this film it is Jeff Bridges. His performance as Bill Django, a Vietnam War vet turned hippie, is ridiculously charismatic. The character himself is based on real combat commander Jim Channon, who sought ways to make war dramatically less violent by using methods based around advanced human performance and the human potential movement. Channon spent two years in the 1970s investigating new age movements that subsequently resulted in an illustrated 150-page field manual entitled “Evolutionary Tactics” published by the U.S. Army in 1978. Bill Django, however, is less contemplative than Channon and finds foolheaded methods to train his so-called Jedi to be “warrior monks”. Through a series of flashbacks, we come to learn about Django’s initial endeavors and experiments, some wildly insane but all entertaining, all thanks to Bridges. As this flower toting-peace loving-weed smoking-Army officer, Bridges put forth his best performance since The Dude from the Coen Brother’s classic cult film, The Big Lebowski.

Kevin Spacy also headlines the supporting cast as the self-absorbed despicable sergeant Larry Hooper. Spacy isn’t anything special in this film. But that rests upon the fact that his character isn’t much himself. Hooper is an ambitious newcomer to the New Earth Army who eventually takes over the Team after he gets Django kicked out in disgrace. Hooper makes it very easy to hate him, and really only is looking out for number one. This self-preservation theme is reminiscent of The Italian Job, but without the big financial motive.

As things progressively go wrong for Wilton and Cassady during their mission, Wilton understandably starts to wonder if Cassady really is a Jedi Warrior with paranormal abilities or if he’s just plain crazy. Cassady blames it all on a "curse" he inadvertently acquired during an experiment in which he stared at a goat until its heart stopped beating. "The dark side took the dream and twisted it." "None of it was real," sites Wilton at one point. With material like this, one would have liked a more incisive comedy to materialize around the decline and fall of the New Age movement. The New Earth Army bears some historical significance because of the context for which it is based. Did our government allocate funds towards the development of a psychic team of soldiers? This question itself poses much intrigue for not only those who are supernatural zealots, but for the tax paying public on the whole. This story could easily have been converted onto the screen in a different way. A psychological thriller that breeds from the mystery of The X-Files and the human turmoil during wartime of Apocalypse Now, could have been a great screen epic. This film farce that plays upon the stupidity of its characters is mediocre at best.

This is not typically the kind of film I would go see to begin with. I am not someone who typically revels in the comedy of human situations. But that isn’t even why I disliked this movie. It’s supposed to be about psychic soldiers, super heroes if you will, and more interestingly, how our military has tried to use such people as weapons. Believable? Not really. Entertaining? Only somewhat. For me personally, The Men Who Stare at Goats just does not come together. There are ridiculous characters that seemingly have metaphysical abilities but aside from the dream sequences and flashbacks, you almost never see any of them performed. It basically just implies that these Jedi have extra ordinary talents. And it seems like you’re watching a version of the X-Men where they are all stoned and mental half-wits. “We’re Jedi. We don’t fight with guns, we fight with our minds.” Mind war indeed; I have been mentally trying to beat-up Clooney and Heslov since I left the theater.

Rating: ★ ★
Bottom Line: They showed every good funny scene in the 3-minute preview. Save yourself the grief & disappointment, and stay home.